Mode: Happy

I have been happy this few days. I have no idea why. Happy and thankful for what I have. I really thank God for giving me an AWESOME life here. I have what I want and I certainly should be thankful. Yes, there is definitely a wish list of the things I want but I can’t get. However, what I need is all sufficient enough. My friends think I am wacko because I get excited all of a sudden in class or maybe when I am walking back to college with them. I can’t do anything if all of a sudden I have an adrenaline rush. Life is just awesome and it true what i read in Juer’s yahoo messanger update “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”. Yeah, so I am not dead but I am just stronger from what I used to be. I want to make a difference and I am trying to work my way through it. Eh, at least I am trying.

On a lighter note, I am leaving college tomorrow. I will tell you, all about it when I come back. It will be my sweet escape and I think I am gonna love it.

Oh ya, I have been sleeping pretty late these few days. I am trying to finish up my assignments and things that I have been postponing. I need to get back on track, like seriously. I must not lose focus and got to do my best la. I don’t want to regret later on.

That’s all I guess, till I come back :) toddles!

xoxo

Terrified by Katharine McPhee

You by the light
Is the greatest find
In a world full wrong you're the thing that's right
Finally made it through the lonely to the other side

You said it again my heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark,
And I'm in love and I'm terrified.
For the first time in the last time
In my only life.

This could be good
It's already better than last
And love is worse than knowing
You're holding back
I could be all that you needed
If you let me try

You said it again my hearts in motion
Every word feels like a shooting start
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark
And I'm in love and I'm terrified
For the first time in the last time
in my only

I only said it cause i mean it
I only mean cause it's true
So don't you doubt what i've been dreaming
Cause it fills me up and holds me close
Whenever i'm without you

You said it again my hearts in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
Watching the shadows burning in the dark
And I'm in love and I'm terrified
For the first time in the last time
In my only life

.................................................

Love this song :)

i need a hug.

If only

If only they know..
If only you know..
I am hurting in the inside.

In moments like this

The moments, the drama, the joy. I miss them, I miss what we use to have. Things are no longer the same now. People change for some reason. Whatever it is, the memories we had will always be cherished.





As we go forth, we'll remember, all the times, we had together..

Caring too much

What does it actually mean if you care about someone?
For me it is simply an act of love and just because I care.
Sorry if it means that I am disturbing you or being too nosy about your life.
I am just doing it because I am concern.
I am just worried.
Maybe it’s true what they said.
I shouldn’t care.
But how can I not care?
When u was here for me when I needed someone?
This is not even my fault. And I am feeling so bad and down.
Is caring wrong? Or caring is being portrayed as disturbing?
Dilemma.
I don’t know what to think, feel or do anymore.
Just worried and hope things will get better.

I am sorry if I was too caring till you felt I was disturbing.
I will not be a bother anymore.
Sorry.

24 hours

I wish I had more time
To spend with you
To just have a conversation with you
To just have breakfast? Lunch, or dinner, perhaps
I wish you had the time
To reply my messages
To call me and see how I’m doing
To say you wanna meet up
I wish we both had something we can’t have more than it’s suppose to be
24 hours is all we got

Home is where My Heart Is

Presentation

So, here I am again at the library.
No longer doing my research proposal but now busy preparing for my presentation tomorrow.

I handed in or should I say, gave my lecturer to check on my proposal today and he said it was alright. He even complemented some parts of my proposal. Thank God, everything went on well, at least the late nights I had, been worth it.

Totally looking forward for tomorrow, because I want to sleep after my presentation is over.

Yes, I am tired like that.

I got to go then.
Oh ya, I am addicted to the song Love the way You Lie. (Eminem ft Rihanna)-- >> Its Just Awesome.

Leadership Presentation, here I come. Weeeeee...

I Promise

Apapun terjadi, Kujanjikan aku ada :)

Bonkers

Research Proposal is making me go BONKERS.

Aishiteru :)

Kimita tuokukitemo, Kiminoi shuaguaratala, Shiniteruyo shiniteruyo..aishiteru..

Colors

I like bright colourful stuff. They make me smile :) Something I need these days.

Lib mode

Listening to : High School Rocker- Bunkface

Currently at the library. Well, I have to constantly remind myself that the reason I am here is to do my assignment. But I am blogging. When will I ever learn to focus? Hopefully this would be one of the last time I HAVE TO STOP PROCRASTINATING. I feel awfully guilty for not doing my assignment. I have started but haven’t completed. I have one assignment in Leadership class. We are required to do an essay about 15- 25 pages, presentation is next week as well. I also have to hand in a proposal next week Monday! Oh ya! Its already Friday today, thus, I have only 3 days to complete my work. I am freaking out, but work still progress. Never know when I will learn my lesson.Planned to go for PC Fair with Juer and Ru but had to cancelled it, feel so bad but I got to put my priorities right. I wish I could go though. Haih.

Got to go then. Wanna work on my assignment.

Your truly, is sick and tired of everything..oh gosh, i sound emo.

Empty

Warning. Emo post coming up. I am just not me anymore. I don’t know what the hell I am doing. I am just lost in this whole thing. I never want to be there. I don’t know what is wrong with me. Am I too tired? Stressed? Or am I just giving up on life. I don’t know. I shouldn’t be emotional like this. It isn’t good for me or the people around me. It’s not that I choose to be this way. Sometimes people depend on me too much, when you guys are going to see that I am imperfect as well. I don’t know how to do things as well. I am clumsy and might not be the perfect to help you out. I will do my best but I can’t guarantee 100% that everything will go on well.

I have never asked anything more or anything less. All I ever wanted is just your friendship. I don’t want to trouble you and be a burden. So, I am sorry if sometimes I don’t want to talk about my problems to you because I don’t want to be judge. I don’t want you to think that I depend too much on you. I don’t want to be seen as a weak person. Sometimes I just don’t have the courage to tell you how I really feel because I am afraid I might hurt you. I don’t want you to feel that I am neglecting you. I am sorry if you feel that way dear friend. I can never be that perfect friend for you but I am happy you are that perfect friend for me.

I would also like to apologize to all my friends, if I ever did anything wrong. I might have said or did something wrong without realizing or sometimes on purpose. I can never please all of you but I hope I can be a better person. I am still learning and I am not perfect. Sorry if I am not good enough to be your friend. I’ll try my best to be a friend but I fail sometimes so what else can I do. I am just feeling empty now.