4.59pm

If you're not bothered then why must I be?

Living my life as it is.

I am happy there is 3 weeks left for this semester to be over.

:D So thrilled =.=!

Till then, God Bless.

Thank you.

Thank you for hurting me again.
For doing things that make me go crazy.
For making me think too much on lonely nights like this.
For allowing me to feel the pain.
For saying that ur sorry, but actually ur not.
For constantly making me look like the fool.
For doing things u think that doesn't matter but it certainly matters to me.
Thank you for making me feel that I am worth nothing.
When I am worth more than you think.

Yes, I admit.
I get emo easily
I get sad occasionally
Even the slightest action of urs affects me.

But yeah, u guys don't see it, or well u don't see it.Duh!

Darn. I am strong yet fragile.
Like a big beautiful vase, but once u drop it.
It'll be broken into pieces.
Putting the pieces back together aint gonna be easy.
So, don't hurt me. or perharps, I should say..
I need to learn to be stronger.
But how strong can one person get or be?

Strong enough to let this matter go?
Strong enough to just ignore this?
Strong enough to forgive?

Yeah, I will in the matter of time.

One fine day..
You will realize or
maybe
I will understand.

5.15am

I am thinking too much..
I can't sleep..
It's already 5.01am and I have class later at 9.30am.
I have no idea what's wrong.
Oh I was doing my assignment earlier, so I didn't really waste time.
Hopefully everything goes on fine.

-----------------------------------------------------------

The days are passing by
I want to catch a glimpse of you passing by
Even just for a few seconds
It would have been great baby
But it is something, my friends would not reckon
Something I shouldn't do,
But I want too
Oh geez, I should stop ranting
Because no matter what you will always have a place here deep down...
At the moment it is still there,
But..I hope..
I hope it'll go away coz in my heart u can't stay..
U know why?
Because someday my knight in shining armor will come
When that day comes, I want it to be entirely for him
Till then, u can stay..

--------------------------------------------------------


My first love, will always be my first love.. :) Thank You for looking past my imperfections and for loving me abundantly. Truly, there is none like You, Jesus..

If only

If only they know..
If only you know..
I am hurting in the inside.

In moments like this

The moments, the drama, the joy. I miss them, I miss what we use to have. Things are no longer the same now. People change for some reason. Whatever it is, the memories we had will always be cherished.





As we go forth, we'll remember, all the times, we had together..

Caring too much

What does it actually mean if you care about someone?
For me it is simply an act of love and just because I care.
Sorry if it means that I am disturbing you or being too nosy about your life.
I am just doing it because I am concern.
I am just worried.
Maybe it’s true what they said.
I shouldn’t care.
But how can I not care?
When u was here for me when I needed someone?
This is not even my fault. And I am feeling so bad and down.
Is caring wrong? Or caring is being portrayed as disturbing?
Dilemma.
I don’t know what to think, feel or do anymore.
Just worried and hope things will get better.

I am sorry if I was too caring till you felt I was disturbing.
I will not be a bother anymore.
Sorry.

24 hours

I wish I had more time
To spend with you
To just have a conversation with you
To just have breakfast? Lunch, or dinner, perhaps
I wish you had the time
To reply my messages
To call me and see how I’m doing
To say you wanna meet up
I wish we both had something we can’t have more than it’s suppose to be
24 hours is all we got

Presentation

So, here I am again at the library.
No longer doing my research proposal but now busy preparing for my presentation tomorrow.

I handed in or should I say, gave my lecturer to check on my proposal today and he said it was alright. He even complemented some parts of my proposal. Thank God, everything went on well, at least the late nights I had, been worth it.

Totally looking forward for tomorrow, because I want to sleep after my presentation is over.

Yes, I am tired like that.

I got to go then.
Oh ya, I am addicted to the song Love the way You Lie. (Eminem ft Rihanna)-- >> Its Just Awesome.

Leadership Presentation, here I come. Weeeeee...

I Promise

Apapun terjadi, Kujanjikan aku ada :)

Bonkers

Research Proposal is making me go BONKERS.

Aishiteru :)

Kimita tuokukitemo, Kiminoi shuaguaratala, Shiniteruyo shiniteruyo..aishiteru..

Colors

I like bright colourful stuff. They make me smile :) Something I need these days.

Lib mode

Listening to : High School Rocker- Bunkface

Currently at the library. Well, I have to constantly remind myself that the reason I am here is to do my assignment. But I am blogging. When will I ever learn to focus? Hopefully this would be one of the last time I HAVE TO STOP PROCRASTINATING. I feel awfully guilty for not doing my assignment. I have started but haven’t completed. I have one assignment in Leadership class. We are required to do an essay about 15- 25 pages, presentation is next week as well. I also have to hand in a proposal next week Monday! Oh ya! Its already Friday today, thus, I have only 3 days to complete my work. I am freaking out, but work still progress. Never know when I will learn my lesson.Planned to go for PC Fair with Juer and Ru but had to cancelled it, feel so bad but I got to put my priorities right. I wish I could go though. Haih.

Got to go then. Wanna work on my assignment.

Your truly, is sick and tired of everything..oh gosh, i sound emo.

Empty

Warning. Emo post coming up. I am just not me anymore. I don’t know what the hell I am doing. I am just lost in this whole thing. I never want to be there. I don’t know what is wrong with me. Am I too tired? Stressed? Or am I just giving up on life. I don’t know. I shouldn’t be emotional like this. It isn’t good for me or the people around me. It’s not that I choose to be this way. Sometimes people depend on me too much, when you guys are going to see that I am imperfect as well. I don’t know how to do things as well. I am clumsy and might not be the perfect to help you out. I will do my best but I can’t guarantee 100% that everything will go on well.

I have never asked anything more or anything less. All I ever wanted is just your friendship. I don’t want to trouble you and be a burden. So, I am sorry if sometimes I don’t want to talk about my problems to you because I don’t want to be judge. I don’t want you to think that I depend too much on you. I don’t want to be seen as a weak person. Sometimes I just don’t have the courage to tell you how I really feel because I am afraid I might hurt you. I don’t want you to feel that I am neglecting you. I am sorry if you feel that way dear friend. I can never be that perfect friend for you but I am happy you are that perfect friend for me.

I would also like to apologize to all my friends, if I ever did anything wrong. I might have said or did something wrong without realizing or sometimes on purpose. I can never please all of you but I hope I can be a better person. I am still learning and I am not perfect. Sorry if I am not good enough to be your friend. I’ll try my best to be a friend but I fail sometimes so what else can I do. I am just feeling empty now.

Meaningless

Not that important anymore in certain people's life.
I was the one who was excited, over reacted, and over did things.
Now, I got to deal and face the consequences.
I got to be strong.
I know I can do it.
I must.

Sleepy Thursday- Classes were just ok. Nothing to brag about.

FINALLY, there is water supply back in college once again. So, now I can have a nice and long shower :) Refreshing indeed. I got to go before there is shortage of water supply, since everyone wants to wash, bathe and do necessary stuff they need to do with the water supply.

Yours truly, got to bathe and wash clothes as well.

Adios then.

A new start?

Tired and Moody
Bad hair day today.
Too many things on my mind, and yeah I hope things will get better.
I miss the times and moments.
Why am I behaving this way?
Paranoid perhaps?
Whatever ever la.

Life

Lots of downs these days then ups.

I am slacking, I know I am.

I am at the edge, might just fall off or let go anytime.

I shouldn't be so negative but things that are happening to me doesn't seem to be helping me at all.

I did great/good for my presentation earlier, according to my friends.

Hopefully I will find the light at the end of the tunnel.

Missing the live I used to live as a form 6 student.

If only i could turn back time.

Someone told me that I'm going to be 21 already so I got to be rational and face situations wisely.

Missing Dad N Mum.

ThInKInG

Do u actually care?

i HOPE so

But I DONT think you DO.

Bad Day GOne GooD

I had one of the worst days of my life today.
Terrible headache,
I think I'm not getting enough sleep. But i just dont have enough time, if i sleep early at night.
Anyway, THANK God i only had two classes today.
After class, wanted to go back to college....but....i went for prayer meeting first.
Prayer meeting with Leslie, Vily, and Zhong Weng.
I was kind of suffering so didnt layan them that much, felt kind of bad though.
Sorry guys, my sincere apology.
Well, after prayer meeting i walked back to college all on my own, coz they wanted to grab lunch at the faculty itself.
As i was walking back, passing Language and Linguistics Faculty, a car passed by me, and mystery man was in there. Wah, i was so excited. Gosh, and he waved at me first, then obviously i waved back. That's about it. You guys might think Im crazy, getting excited just because of a wave, but hey! i dont care =) coz me like him! I have tonnes of assignment to do. Got to go!

missing mummy and daddy

TenSiOn + RunSing

omg! one problem to another, why must i be facing this today, of all days in my life! super lame! i have so many assignments yet im caught up in the middle of this. just feeling so frustrated, why did i do to this deserve all this, for the past whole year i have been giving my all for this club then now, u all act like i dont even exist? u know what i dont give a damn already. totally annoyed and i guess i will move on from today onwards. what u want to do, u guys decide, i will concentrate on other college stuff that i am involve in.

I dont care anymore i just dont!

Dont come finding me when u all need me.

Because at that time, I aint helping!

U guys are playing with my emotions.

Stop talking behind my back as well, because i know u are. Go find some other topics or just go and studylah if u have all the time in the world. Like the peribahasa jangan jaga tepi kain orang...

I may look vurnerable but i am strong, i went to many hardships in life to stop what i am doing now.

I aint quitting if u think i am.

WELL, although i am EMO~ing right now, i still feel so disappointed.

Oh GOSH! cant wait for year end sem break! Well, at least the raya holidays...